In the microwave. Note to self: consider buying a microwave. yes, I know that you hate them because you’re convinced they’re radiating everyone in the house (microwaving everyone? do microwaves even emit radiation? you know what? I don’t care, I don’t like them), but it seems that in order to use a microwave, you have to have access to one
If my poultry scissors arrive in the mail today, I am planning on spatchcocking ( LOVE that word) the turkey . Not that this info will help you; I just wanted to type out “spatchcock “
I vote for #7-- I made a mean Tofurkey in 1999. #8 would be out for me due to the mice. But #4 would be the most exciting. There's a YouTube channel, "Early American," that makes fireplace cooking & baking look doable.
Here's one you forgot: A solar oven! We own one, and it's great for saving energy, baking in the summer heat when you don't want to turn on the oven in your house, and in case of situations like yours, or if there's a brownout... Those might happen more in the future (as they are in Europe). We're proud to be affiliates for Sun Oven, made in the US, and we might get a small commission (at not extra cost to the buyer) if you and your readers purchase using this link: https://www.sunoven.com/product/all-american-sun-oven/ref/lisabrunette/?campaign=SunOvenStandard
Best of luck to you, and Happy Thanksgiving!
For Turkey, depending on the size of course, ... Possibly the motorized rotisserie for a BBQ. Also a plug in roaster.
Worse case could try the roast pan in a firepit, but it would not be my first choice for Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds more like Thanksgiving fiasco.
Father in law says buy a deep fryer
I vote for using neighbors oven